Monday, June 30, 2014

[NJFAC] Adventures in Job Hunting

Adventures in Job Hunting

By: David Cox
Unless you have been hiding in a nuclear bunker or sailing your yacht in the Mediterranean, you already know the US job market is dismal. Millions of unemployed and underemployed Americans of all ages, struggle seeking work in this new job environment. Because it's not just the quantity of jobs available that's changed, it's the very nature of employment itself. Even the jargon and vernacular of employment has changed.

In today's Orwellian job market; "Entry-Level" means whatever the employer wants it to mean. Entry-level Neurogeneticist needed! Obviously, if you've earned a Master's Degree or a PhD, you can't conceivably be considered for an "Entry-Level" position and that's just the point. What once meant, any warm body willing to learn and do the job, has become the first hurdle for the over-qualified. The employer doesn't care that your unemployment ran out two weeks ago or that you're looking eyeball to eyeball at destitution. "A PhD. in the shipping department? I don't know."

Entrepreneurial = A Ralph Cramden scheme where you don't get paid or you get paid commission only, when the product takes off. We've developed a great new app for your smart phone and we're looking for marketing reps with an entrepreneurial spirit! So if you earn $ 5.00 per sale, you'd need 60 sales to earn $300. Hypothetically, if you placed an Internet Ad with a 1% conversation rate you would need 600 views for each sale. But to place that ad on the Internet would cost you more than $300 whether the app sells or not. So the companies "entrepreneurial" strategy is to hire 10 or 20 thousand sales reps each making one or two sales.

Equity = again, you don't get paid or you get paid in Monopoly money. We're a well-funded start-up. You now own 10,000 shares of Fingerupmynosedotcom  and if we all work very, very hard, we could be as big as the Huffington Post someday. Mark Twain called it, "getting drunk on the smell of somebody else's cork."

A job application is now a "Career Opportunity Packet." Page one: Applicant/Employee Disclosure and Authorization under the Fair Credit Reporting Act. Now understand this isn't just a nosey intrusion into your private life, Nah.


National Jobs for All Coalition

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